Hearing HB and Feeling Great

     The baby has grown so much in two weeks. This ultrasound picture was at 8 weeks, 5 days. He/she really did look like a gummi bear, like our doctor said. We HEARD the heartbeat today. So strong and fast, at 189 bmp. We were also amazed to see the little gummi moving around. Moving a lot! Moving like a real baby! You can kind of see the little arm and leg buds in this picture. Keeps getting better!

     Our doctor wants me back for the new blood test that replaced the amniocentesis because of my "advanced maternal age." He also said we could have another ultrasound to put my mind at ease, because he understands we've been through a lot. I never thought our child would come close to being photographed as much as my sister's children, she is the epitome of mamarazzi. We're getting a good start! AND I'm camera shopping for spectacular pics in the future!

     My belly is "just so out there," (Sir Mix-a-Lot style.) I asked tons of questions about my uterus and insides and why I am so large at only 9 weeks. My doctor became concerned and had me lay down again and examined me some more. All is well. I truly think it is because of all the hormones. I gained about 15 pounds this summer and even though my tummy is bulging and I can barely zip my pants, I have now lost 5 pounds. Weird.

     Something cute this week: I texted Brant, "I meant to tell you Baby B. graduates from embryo status to fetus today! (9 weeks)" He texted back, "We have a fetus!!" I laughed out loud. He woke me up this morning and said, "Good morning. You're pregnant!" I said, "I know! Isn't it great!" We're having fun.

     All I have to say is thank GOD I do not have morning sickness or nausea at all. I went back to work last week. It would have been miserable! Maybe this is why God waited for me to be preggo-I like it and I may have had 10 kids if I started early! Feeling great!

     Now I feel like I'm all caught up on the past 9 weeks. I'm sure I'll think of more and add here and there. Just had to get some of this stuff down!

 

 Smart Aunt Shari captured telling Hannah, Nathan and Jonah the news as they watched our video. So sweet! Brant and I loved watching this! Made me cry! Such a treasure. Thank you, Shari!

 

1st Ultrasound, See Heartbeat! & Relief

     On August 7, (6 weeks, 5 days pregnant,) we got to see our little peanut, (shaped like a peanut, but the size of a lentil,) and his/her FLICKERING little HEARTBEAT. It was amazing and made it real!
     Brant kept saying things like, "Well, if you are pregnant..." I kept reminding him that I had a blood test, more accurate than any other kind of test. I was so nervous for this ultrasound. I just wanted to see a baby and make sure it is healthy. I wasn't even thinking about whether we had twins or even three at this point. As long as all was well in there. One baby was confirmed and the doctor showed us the shadowy area where the other embryo had been.
     When he saw the little baby and the heart flickering, Brant's face lit up, he squeezed my hand. He finally realized we were having a baby. I could see it on his face. I could only see a small version on the monitor attached to the exam table but he got to see the larger, clearer monitor where the doctor was looking. I was able to see the baby and to see the flickering of it's heart and I was incredibly relieved.
     Nurse Carolyn said we graduated from the fertility clinic and that she would actually write "graduated" on our chart. She told us to come back in a couple of months to show off the baby bump and to send a birth announcement picture. We walked out to the parking garage and Brant was thrilled. I was relieved. I was also concerned about not being special anymore. I felt like we needed this special place and special people! I had come to know them so well over the last 2 years. I was told to make an appointment with my regular OBGYN. Now I am just a regular pregnant person. Sometimes it's great to be regular. Relief.

    
    

IVF Thoughts

     Originally I had a major mental block about IVF because my best friend from college had 3 horrifying experiences with it and I learned enough from her to make me terrified of ever proceeding with it. Bottom line for me: it is not that bad and I don't feel any differently about my pregnancy than I would if it were "natural." I honestly didn't know how I would feel before we did it, but I am now overjoyed. We actually learned a lot and got to see that our baby was healthy from day one!
     After we tried to conceive for a year, my Dad told me, (through my mom, of course!) that there is nothing wrong with using medical help for issues such as fertility. He assured us that it is in God's plan that medicine has come so far and can help us with issues like this. He was by far the smartest person I think I will ever know in my life. Between his faith in God and his profession in medical research, this, time and prayer, confirmed IVF was an option for Brant and me. My Dad is no longer with us. It's been two years since he passed away. He made an incredible impression on all our lives and this is one of the last ones I hold with me, (and with this baby inside me!)
     Brant and I didn't have anything particularly wrong with either of us, except age not being on our side. So many people kept saying, "oh, you're still young," but in reality, our bodies were meant to have babies in our teenage years and 20s. That's why all the chromosomal problems happen to older parents too, which is another thought to consider, (chromosomes get "sticky" according to our doctor!) I think this whole process was more difficult for us because we had to go through ALL the hoops and procedures just to TRY to conceive. Doctors didn't have a specific issue they could hone in on and "fix," or focus on.
     We started with Chlomid, then another drug called Letrozol. We tried IUI several times. We decided if the last IUI didn't work, (in March,) I would focus my summer "vacation" on IVF. I began Lupron shots June 7. Gonal shots began later in June. Ultrasounds and blood draws were sometimes every other day. July 3, Ovidril shot. July 5, retrieval of 9 eggs (the first time I was ever under anesthesia.) July 7 transfer of 2 embryos. I relaxed at home after the transfer and went to music in the park with friends that evening. I sat in a lawn chair and drank an O'Douls, (beer decoy for the friends, which I am liking when a beer sounds good!)
     One thing that was hard was that I avoided people all summer because I didn't want to have to tell them what was going on and then go back and possibly let them know it didn't work. I really kept to myself, which I think is understandable given the circumstances, but I may not have been a good friend in some incidences. .
     It IS a lot of work and takes a toll on your mind and body, but it will be and already is well worth it. We are lucky to have had a successful first shot. Two embryos were transferred, but only one made it. I had very strong symptoms for a while and because of my high HCG, we think it is because they both lived a short time. We saw the shadow of the embryo that did not survive on the first ultrasound, but I just have to know that it wouldn't have been a healthy baby anyway.

Baby's first pictures. When I showed Mom/Gigi these she said, "Wow, not many people get to see that!" It IS strange, it just IS, but it's the way WE do it and it worked for us!

I'm Pregnant!!!!

I'm pregnant and cannot keep it a secret! We were planning on waiting to tell the world after 10-12 weeks, but we just couldn't wait. Our situation was a little different than most because we ended up having to do IVF. All our close friends and family members knew about it and were praying for us. I couldn't keep putting them off with "well, we're still waiting..." So, at about 7 weeks I began to tell. Both our moms and siblings knew right away, at week 4, right after we had the blood test at the fertility clinic. I took a picture of the two strong pink lines and sent it via text with the news they were waiting for. 

The nurse, Carolyn, was very serious when she called us in. (A fertility clinic is NOT the place where you can show that you are excited to be pregnant or that you are pregnant at all! You might get jumped in the parking lot or at the very least have killer looks thrown your way.) She sat us down in a private exam room and pulled the test out of her pocket. Brant took it in his hand. Neither of us knew what was going on. He said, "So, what does this mean?" She said, "Two lines! You're pregnant!" We hugged and kissed and she was so happy for us.                                                                                                           Nurse Carolyn is in charge of IVF at the clinic. She is very matter-of-fact and tell-you-like-it-is, which I like about her. So when she hugged us and told us how she loves to see this outcome, it felt real. What an amazing feeling. Now, at 9 weeks, it has just kept getting better and better and I feel great, thank God!

*for my future reference: at 4 weeks, earliest blood test showed HCG @ 245 (Excellent, according to Carolyn) and progesterone @ 51. I got to stop the progesterone after a few days/few blood draws. Held in the 40s, also excellent-my bod took over! Last progesterone July 26.

The following is the video I emailed friends and family I hadn't told and posted on Facebook:

BIG News at the Burris House!